Has anyone else felt extremely triggered and ready to fight whenever someone has said “stop making excuses“?. Yeah me to, I always felt like it was a personal attack and it made me feel like something was wrong with me, which is a horrible feeling. However although those feelings are valid, that was not the intent behind that saying. Sometimes it can be hard to hear the very things we need to hear, sometimes we just need to get to that place of understanding in our own time.
I am a strong believer in not shaming and critiquing your way into doing something positive. The way we speak to ourselves is important, I don’t understand how we expect to get the results we want by speaking to ourselves in a negative way. We have this idea that being kind, gentle and softer in our approach to our goals and generally how we treat ourselves as if it is just a waste of time.
Feel The Fear
It is not easy getting to place where you can start to feel the fear and do it anyway, it is still scary and triggering. However when you have spent so long feeling the fear, the anxiety and not much else, you can trick yourself into believing that you need it. For a long time I felt as if fear was just part of me, part of my DNA.
Fear is a natural emotion, we all need fear to some degree. In order for our body to act according when we are in a threatening situation for example, but when your body is in constant fear, anxiety develops and it feels almost Impossible to manage.
We do not have to live with fear or in fear forever. There are things we can do in order to teach ourselves where fear is and isn’t needed, and we do that by acknowledging our fears, categorising our fears and then taking action.
This can be difficult to hear at first, sometimes we can get used to fear because it makes us feel comfortable, it is familiar, we know it. It was that comfortable space that we sit in for too long that creates room for those symptoms of anxiety to increase. Overthinking becomes overwhelming, your self esteem and self confidence decreases and motivation becomes a foreign concept. Working through it doesn’t mean those moments no longer show up, you just find better ways to manage it with healthy distractions.
Do It Anyway
Accepting that some of our fears are hypothetical and the likelihood of them manifesting is low can be difficult. All our fears can feel just as real as each other regardless If those fears are hypothetical. This is why categories them and acknowledging them is important. Otherwise we spend way too much time in a state of fear and we already know this has several other effects on our wellbeing.
A hypothetical fear is a fear that lacks facts, an example is “I failed my driving test the first time, I will never pass my driving test”.
Learning to drive is a skill and like all skills practice is needed. Also it is important to know that not everyone has the same style of learning. Find a way to practice for your test that is beneficial to you. It may just be that the way you was practicing and taking in information before was not the best way for you to learn a new skill.
You are more than capable of trying again until you get the results you want. Give yourself the time you need in order to feel what you need to feel. Instead of seeing this as a negative thing, think of a new approach.
“My goals and aspirations are bigger than my fears”
“Fear is an emotion that is no longer serving me at this time”
How do you practice feeling the fear and doing it anyway? Do you have any affirmations that you feel help you when you are feeling Fearful?