Using Validation From Others to Challenge Negative Self Talk & Reduce Self Doubt

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Self doubt is one of the main things I have been working on, I constantly have to remind myself of the good in order to plant those positive thoughts In my mind. I am ways open to trying new things so I decided to create something that feels a little uncomfortable, but I want to see what difference can be made by constantly seeing positive, affirming messages about myself and my writing.

Validation & Me

Up until recently the word “validation” was not part of my vocabulary, which is strange because the Leo in me loves to be seen and heard. I know now that it came from this idea I had that validation was something that could be taken away from me, leaving my self belief and self-confidence at rock bottom.

I viewed validation as a temporary form of appreciation, and that it was only valid whilst you was relevant and that went against the mindset I was trying to create for myself. I wanted to establish a level of validation for myself that couldn’t be taken away by anybody before I accepted validation from others.

Writing is one of those spaces where validation is encouraged and sort after, because it can create great opportunities. A lot of the praise I get is based on my writing which has helped me build more confidence as a writer, so I know the benefits of validation and praise, it’s more of an issue of believing and accepting it.

 

“I want to caveat this by saying we should never look externally for validation… BUT in the beginning stages, when we’re lacking self-worth, keeping note of the positives externally can help us start to believe in ourselves, internally.”How to Build a Self-Belief Evidence Bank  // Blue Jay of Happiness

Using Validation to Reduce Self Doubt

After reading Kat’s post on building a self belief evidence bank, I went on to create an evidence bank for myself. I went for a vision board style, a mixture of words from you, as well as some affirming words and a few images purely for aesthetics.

Because it is so easy me to forget the kind words that I have received, I thought something visible would be the best way to truly believe in myself.

I am learning to accept that validation has a place in my life, it doesn’t have to be something I relay on, but it surely helps during those rough days. We all need a little confidence boost every now and again, I am learning to embrace the kind words and use them to challenge my negative thoughts.

The mentions in blog posts and comments from you have all contributed to creating this evidence bank. To hear words like “this woman is a hidden gem” from beautiful people who have not met me yet fills me with such confidence in what I do. Thank you She Might Be not only for the feaature but for introducing me some amazing plus size women within the creative space.

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Also I am hosting my very first workshop on 5th May for Detangled Hair. I was interviewed by Founder Serena last year and have now been asked to host a workshop on becoming a blogger. If you want to know more about my blogging journey and how you too can become a blogger, you can find further information and tickets on eventbrite here.


Outfit Details:

Graphic Tee: @parysgardenerart (Size Large)

Stripped Tapered Trousers: @FandFClothing (Size 20) // Similar

Big Hair No Care Clip-In’s: Details & My First Impressions

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6 Comments

  1. This is useful perspective because so many people speak on self-love and how we shouldn’t seek validation from others which is true. But validation from others is still nice. Particularly, if like me words of affirmation is one off your love languages.

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  2. This is a great thought. Some people have such a difficult time finding anything positive about themselves that they need a place to start. I think helping people realize the kind things others say about them can be true (and not slap it down mentally the minute they hear it!) can be a first step towards self validation. If you’ve heard from 3 different people that you’re a kind, caring person… It’s probably true!! Internalize that shit!

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