Posts like this make my blood boil. This idea that women exist solely for men is insulting. There are more than a handful of men who feel like women must be the student in a relationship. Now I’m not against learning from your partner in a relationship, however I’m not here for the idea that the man in the relationship must “coach” me.
“Black women believe it’s 50/50 and you have to be uneducated to ever think such a thing”
The reason men and some women feel it’s perfectly normal for these oppressive gender roles to exists is because it something we have been taught to believe. If we were all taught that we are all equal, we would not be having this discussion today. There are other factors that encourage these views as well like religion, society and culture. Which is why I don’t particularly fuck with religion (but that’s a topic for another blog post) – Spiritual, Not Religious.
What Does Feminism Mean To Me?
I definitely have some feminist views and equality between sexes is something that I feel very strongly about. If you was to put a label on my views it would lean towards being a feminist or a “modern woman”.
Before I understood what feminism truly is, I used to think feminism was just about white women no longer wanting to stay at home looking after the house and children. Which did contribute to the movement, but there’s a lot more to feminism than not wanting to be a housewife. Feminism is needed to end FGM (Female Genital Mutilation), the pay gap, sexual abuse/harassment, underage marriages, the list goes on.
Feminism isn’t just about empowering women and gender equality, but it’s also about bettering the relationship between men and women. Feminism encourages men to be themselves, their true selves and to abandon patriarchal and misogynist views.
All the blame isn’t on men solely, however men tend to knowingly or unknowingly subscribe to the oppression of women. I think some people see feminists as a bunch of men hating women. Even though I do get extremely angry at the male species at times, I know it’s not all men. It’s not about hating men, it’s about that system that oppresses women.
May have mentioned this post before but it’s a must read for those that want to understand why men also need feminism – Feminists Love Will Save Men Too by Jendella Benson.
Is there a difference between feminism and black feminism?
Personally I feel like mainstream feminism can only benefit black women to a point, there are certain things that need to be addressed that are specific to the black community. The relationship between black women and black men is similar to the relationship between white men and white women, but the way we have adopted misogyny and sexism into our everyday lives affects us differently.
I don’t expect white women to speak for me, nor do I expect them to fully understand the relationship between black men and women. That doesn’t mean that the support from white women isn’t needed, it’s definitely needed. The term allies doesn’t sit well with me, but I understand the need for allies.
An interesting post that looks at Misogynoir is – 4 Tired Tropes That Perfectly Explain What Misogynoir Is by Kesiena Boom.
Kesiena looks at how the sassy black woman, the angry black woman, the hyper-sexualised black woman and the strong black woman stereotypes contributes to dismissing the black female struggle. If the black woman is only seen as angry, sassy, strong and sexual, then it makes it harder for people to want to support and care for them, because those are qualities, attitudes and choices are deemed as negative.
I really hate seeing black women only being praised for their strength, can we stop acting like black women are made to endure abuse please? thank you! When a black woman is seen as being able to handle everything that is thrown at her, it suggests that she doesn’t need any support or help. No matter how strong someone is or may seem, everyone needs help and support from time to time.
Let me know what you think. Do you consider yourself to be a feminist? Do you believe a woman should be submissive to her husband/partner? Are white women more submissive in comparison to black women?