I’m still single so this is definitely not an advice post. This is just me sharing my experience so far.
I have been on and off Tinder for a while now. I am constantly deleting and re-downloading this strange app, in hopes that someone interesting will catch my eye. I wasn’t having any success with Tinder, so my friend recently told me about another dating app, so I gave it a go and so far so good. I don’t really have any funny stories, I really wish I did.
I’ve found it weird how quickly guys want to meet up on these apps. I respect their honesty, but I just don’t get it, what’s the rush?
“slow down, I just wanna get to know you” – Bobby Valentino / Slow Down
I get that meeting someone in person is a lot different to a few whatsapp messages, but I like to take things slow. I like to take my time before I meet anyone in person, mainly to avoid regretful meet ups. To avoid the feeling of regret I like to just take it slow and see what happens before meeting up with someone.
*This is the Leo in me speaking
I like when a guy pays attention to detail. I didn’t spend a whole five minutes on my profile for you to ask me what my name is. I might sound arrogant but, I am not faltered when someone simply sees my image and decides to impulsively slide into my messages with a “hey sexy” and you expect me to be impressed? Don’t get me wrong compliments are great, I just want more substance.
I know the getting to know someone stage shouldn’t be an interview, but at the same time I don’t want to waste my time. I can be awkward, so starting and maintaining conversations isn’t something that comes naturally to me. I would much rather get into the important questions straight away instead of all the small talk stuff. I don’t want to come across like I’m interviewing someone, so a lot of the time I take a back seat during the getting to know each other stage. Once I’m comfortable then I will drop in the important and personal questions. It’s different with everyone, sometimes the personal questions don’t come up straight away, whereas it’s the first few questions with other men.
Now before you come at me, I don’t mean it in a don’t talk too much, pretend to be interested way. I just mean let the guy talk and before you know it, you will have an idea as to what kind of person he is.
I wouldn’t call it a test (at least that’s what I tell myself), but I’ve learnt a lot from just listening. A lot of the time when people get comfortable they start to show their true colours and they let you see a small part of what goes on in their mind. I think it also saves you from a lot of regretful meet ups.
One guy I spoke to decided that it would be a funny story to tell me about the time he got arrested because he was a about to slap a girl, she had slapped him first but I’m not here for any kind of violence, male or female, keep your hands to yourself.
It’s probably a lot easier to just come out and ask these guys any ‘deal breaker‘ questions, I just prefer to listen. It’s nice knowing that people can be comfortable enough to open up to me, it’s a nice feeling. It’s not always bad, sometimes you can find out some things that will have you sprung.