*These lip glosses have kindly been gifted to me for the purpose of this blog post. My policy on gifted products for my blog can be found here.
I always leave an interaction with someone new thinking “did I show them all of me? Or at least enough of me“.
Instead of being who I actually am, I sometimes I fall right back into being the person I think I should be. I will say that recently I have felt more comfortable expressing myself and often give myself permission to exist confidently. Like the rest of us, there are areas I want to improve on, but for the most part, I am a lot happier with the woman I see myself becoming.
You may already be aware of the people who bring out the different sides to your personality. I sometimes find it easy to bounce off of people’s energy, whereas other times I tend to curl up into myself and show 20% of myself. With that being said, I am learning to accept that I do not always have to match up to the personalities of others, and that it’s okay to be me.
Serial People Pleaser
Some more than others may find themselves wanting to please those around us. I mean we all like to know that we have contributed to someone’s life in some type of positive way right? For some, this can become a constant thing.
Over the years, specifically my teenage years I put a lot of energy and time into being someone who others respected and liked. Looking back I do get a little upset with myself, because I spent so much time trying to create someone I wasn’t meant to be. Now in my twenties, I have to rediscover myself and taking the time to understand who I am, without the expectations and without holding onto values and opinions others have created for me.
I have learnt not to rush my journey in order to feel like I am the right amount of me for others. Along with learning to accept that I may not be the same person with everyone. I know that it is perfectly okay to take my time to understand and nurture all of me.
Enough As You Are
We constantly feel like we need to add to ourselves or the environment that we are in, and sometimes all that is required is your presence. You don’t have to be more or less of anything, just be.
I still find myself asking myself if I have shown all or enough of me, and I am quickly reassured by a “I enjoyed my time with you today” text and a sigh of relief escapes me
– “Hey Google play H.E.R – As I Am.”
I am only now understanding my personality and what it even looks like to be myself. I didn’t really know what that looked like before, but now I have such an appreciation for time and growth and a willingness to let go of anything that no longer serves me. Trying to be someone I am not and holding myself back due to fear, has never served me. I am slowly but surely letting go of it all, and when you’re good and ready you will too.
Lips: Boss Gloss by Uoma Beauty
Hair: Curly Clip In’s
Beach Hat: Pretty Little Thing
Glasses: Everything 5 Pounds (Similar)