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I thought I was doing just that, setting clear boundaries, but without thinking too much about it my style of writing became more personal. It wasn’t until I kept hearing “you’re so brave” and “this was so honest” that I started to realise that writing from personal experiences has been both a blessing and a struggle.
If I am honest I initially found it really strange to hear others call me brave, I surely didn’t feel brave by definition. It was that confused feeling that had me questioning why I didn’t feel brave. I then came to the conclusion that writing the way that I do cames naturally to me. I wasn’t consciously thinking about being brave or honest it just happened, that space between figuring out why I write the way that I do was a defining moment for me, it confirmed that this is what I should be doing.
I just needed a way to silence the thoughts in my head, which just opened up a whole journey I was unaware I needed to be on. I then realised that me being open and honest and sharing my personal journey created a space for conversation and a space for others to be honest and open with themselves.
Monday morning I am doing someone’s weekly food shopping, then when I sit down to have my break and I am promoting my latest blog post. On my way home I am seeing the likes and comments coming through, and people telling me I am inspiring, it can feel a little serial.
I know it’s because I still see myself as just Saabirah, and I just feel like a regular person. So to have people praise my work, invite me to events, interview me, ask me to speak on their podcast, ask to work with me and to even be give me the opportunity to speak at events as well. It can almost feel like I am two different people at times.
I guess that double life feeling comes from my two separate journeys becoming one, the personal journey I’am on and the writing journey I’m taking my blog on. I think it is also a combination of imposter syndrome, and feeling like I don’t see myself the same way others do, almost like a dissociation.
Utilising my emotions and personal experiences to create the pieces of writing that I do, is something I have to learn to manage better. I do have my moments when I think I might be saying too much, I definitely feel that it has become part of my brand, and It’s something I want to keep throughout my writing.
I am however A little torn between seeing the benefits of sharing my journey and being very aware that I cannot pour from an empty cup. Which is why I take breaks whenever I need them, I enjoy writing and creating a space for conversation way too much to get so burnt out that I begin to hate it all.
I look forward to getting into the topic of using your passion, experiences and struggles to write more, when I host my first writing event this year.