On the train from an event at Google thinking about what the event was all about and how I felt once I left. I constantly have this ego driven inner battle of who I am, who I want to be and who I will be.
From the moment you are born you have already begun the steps towards who you will be. You get older and you are sometimes asked who you want to be and you may hit a point in your life where you stop and ask yourself, who am I? Right now, who am I?
Who You Want To Be
I’m constantly having this inner battle. The woman I want to be seems so far away from the woman I am today. Sometimes I wonder if it’s some sparkling dream I’ve conjured up in my head and if she (my idea of future me) will ever exsist. I question who this future Saabirah is and if she’s who I truly am or if it’s what I’d like to think I could be. Which is fine, we must question ourselves and the people we are, that’s the art of growth and self development.
I wonder if the woman I want to be is truly the woman I am meant to be.
Who You Will Be
I think the beauty of life is never truly knowing it all, but having a pretty good idea of what a good life looks like for us. Not society, our peers or our parents, but us. What do our lives look like and are they a true match of who we are.
We all have ideas about our future selves, everything we do right now leads us to that idea of our future selves. Do we fully have control over our future selves? Can we create the people we will be? In some ways I believe we can, however I think sometimes we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be this idea of who we want to be. In most cases I believe we have to let life, God, the universe take the wheel and guide us.
Who You Are
I may have left the event not feeling much, but what I took from it was purpose. I tend to lose sight of who I am, because the person I am doesn’t seem as interesting, fun and confident as the woman I want to be, but Is that truly me? I know that what I do is purposeful and that helps when it comes to understanding myself better.
I know that right now, I don’t have to know exactly who I am. But with everything that I do, I come closer to the me I am truly meant to be. We aspire to be content in ourselves, even if it doesn’t look the way we once thought it would.
This is just me thinking out loud, no tips or tricks to guide you towards who you are, but just a comforting post that lets you know it’s not just you having these thoughts.