I am constantly waking up feeling like the “angry black woman” stereotype is another way to shut black women up and to shame us for expressing our feelings. I’m not immune to the reality black women face daily. Sure our melanin is golden and our kinks and curls are poppin’. But I’m aware that our anger is always ignored or we are ddehumanized because of it.
You would be angry too if others ignored your struggles, even though they have never experienced it.
You would be angry too if you knew what we knew and had people tell you to “get over it”.
You would be angry too if your body was constantly seen as a sex symbol.
You would be angry too if you was taught to be strong, fierce and sassy, to fit the “definition” of a “real black woman”.
Why is our anger always an overreaction, why do you always ignore and undermine it?
As much as I’d like to think that the angry black woman isn’t angry because of men, honestly I do believe they play a part in it. I also think black women who shame other black women for being “angry” also play a part in the stereotype. Now I’m not here to put all of the blame on black men, because I know it’s not their fault (obviously). There are lots of things that play into this stereotype.
What do you think happens with all of this built up anger?
I think the lack of communication and the lack willingness to seek professional help doesn’t benefit women. Counselling, therapy, meditation, exercise etc. aren’t the first things that are suggested to us.
There aren’t any safe, non-judgemental spaces for women to express this frustration and anger without it being brushed off. The idea that we are supposed to be strong and can handle anything life throws at us leaves us feeling stuck, frustrated and sometimes angry.
There’s so many different things that fuel this anger, but we are constantly told to get over it and move on, and we end up with all of this trapped suppressed anger.
It doesn’t evaporate, it grows and plays on our minds and how we view the world. We speak about rape culture, misogyny or gender roles and we receive a bunch of “not all men”, “everyone needs to lighten up” and “it’s not that deep”.